The Park Lane Hotel
Piccadilly, London, W1J 7BX, UK
Rating - 2.5 of 5 Stars
Duration of stay- 4 Nights (12/29/08 - 1/2/09)
What a horrid dump! If you can avoid staying here it is highly recommended, even if it costs you a few pounds. From the street front and website your hopes of an enjoyable stay is set to a high mark but it is downhill from there. Staffing issues are paramount with lack of proper training especially vocabulary, demeanor and appropriate respect towards guests. The interior of the property is in a shambles with disrepair around every corner. Rooms are extremely dated and poorly laid out with a bathroom one can barely walk through.
After being subjected to lugging my own bags into the lobby since there was no bellman on duty, the front desk agent was polite and professional. This was a slight surprise but it soon faded due to the fact the agent had difficulty locating my reservation and proceeded to tell me I did not qualified for an upgrade; though I am a gold member of Starwood Preferred Guests(SPG). (OH! Did I mention that I had called earlier today to check in prior to arrival, just so I could make sure I would have the right room when I finally got there?) The real storm began when the agent asked for my passport; I was then informed that there was no possible way for me to be the same person pictured in my passport and that it must be a fake. Would also need to provide them with a document that had a "real" picture of me. As this eruption began, it was still merely some steam that had been let loose. (To make matters worse the guest at the front desk next to me was arguing loudly with her agent because they had been waiting for their room for the last three hours.)
Well at that point the line had been crossed, and on my request the front desk manager was summoned...though they brought over the duty manager. To say the least this manager is thicker than clotted cream and purely useless. He did what every poor sod does in that situation, he apologized. But it gets worse. At this juncture I decided to not make an even bigger deal about the passport since he guaranteed me an upgrade.
This upgrade ended up being a moderately sized room, with dated furniture and fittings which gave the room a unknown style of interior design. It came equipped with two rather bizarrely built windows which dont latch properly, allowing the nights near freezing air into the room. Oh and the ever important bathroom, however the best way to sum it up is when Mrs. Richard said to Basil Fawlty, "It not even big enough to drown a mouse." I just barely squeeze pass but any over 200lbs would have difficulty using these facilities. Also forgot to mention but my room it right next to the service elevators, fire control room (and yes the panel is beeping), and the excess and broken furniture.
So I called the front desk back and complained that the room was unsatisfactory. Having told the person on the phone my name, she said "yeh hang on; Frederik there someone on the line for you." Sounds more the type of telephone conversations when I call a friends flat. The duty manager proceeded to infomed me that there is nothing he can currently do and hung up the phone. Well I immediately called SPG and was passed along to the corporate customer complaints department. Other than helping fix the situation they informed me that this is the only room they and that their other sister properties are full.
Front desk agent at check in, speaking about a passport with photo from 2006, (looking at the passport, the agent gave a slight smile and giggle "This isn't you. It can't be real. Sorry." and then gave me back my passport and required another. (racial profiling?)
Duty manager, "There is nothing we can do."
Jaguar's suggestion: RUN!! Run away from here as fast as you can!
